I'm going to try my very best to be a positive person. For once in my life, I'm worn out with depth and emotion, and reading and learning and ideals. This whole scene of being rich with words, and knowledge, and relationships, and time spend on the things people pass up for work; all of it is good, but I come to an end of even that. I want to be glad for being alive and having ambitions and being a decent person, or trying to be; at least I'm a conscious person.
I just can't live in an emotional reality all the time for the sake of it feeling more tangible because it evokes more emotion. Sometimes, the more surfacy things, like swinging, or eating, or movies, are just as satisfying, and just as simple and innocent and lovely.
Life is beautiful, even the shallow parts sometimes I think. But I'm scared to make that statement too forcefully. Someone might think I'm shallow, and then I'd be a disappointment. I don't want to be shallow. I just don't want to live in a state of constant intense emotion, which generally follows a negative trend, because pain seems more intense. That just seems childish.
